Thoughts on Self-Portrait Collage

In my Variable Topics of Drawing class, we are getting to the tail end of our self-portrait collage. With this in mind, I am feeling a little uneasy about the final product. A few weeks earlier, I made a list of things that need to happen in my work:

1) Edit what isn't working

2) Bring some clarity to the piece

3) Develop 3D form idea more clearly

4) Experiment with a variety of materials

5) Lose self-conscience approach

6) Develop figure

7) Form structured red and blue shapes within thought bubble

Going back over this list, I noticed one thing in particular that I cannot scratch off the list. Number 5: Lose self-conscience approach

I don't know what is going on in my head this part of the semester, but I can't shake this feeling of unease, worry, and embarrassment toward my work. Things that are not class involved seem to be flourishing in way, while with class work I feel stumped. There is a cloud that, at least for right now, I can't get through. The game plan is to continually push myself to not think and just make. I am writing out my concept in hopes of clearing my head a bit from this mess.

Concept:

We as bodies are just the vessels of our mind and soul. I am an inanimate object without what makes me me. I could look completely different than the way I do, but still be myself on the inside. Due to the inevitability of change, it is also very clear to me that I will physically look different years from now. I want to portray the puppet that is a body as this scribbly, amorphous, and dead looking figure, with the mind represented in a thought bubble. The mind is to be represented in red and blue structural yet abstract shapes and forms. These forms when viewed through 3D glasses will show the importance of mind as oppose to the generic vessel.

Early collages/drawings

Current, yet not totally up to date photo